It’s the book you never knew you needed, the book that asks all the questions but has none of the answers to the secrets of life in this magical multiverse. Lavinia Plonka weaves together autobiographical stories with weighty philosophical questions in her uniquely hilarious way: Are aliens stealing our time? Can one find enlightenment at Sam’s Club? Are nail salons a galactic conspiracy? These essays originally appeared as Lavinia’s monthly column, “CosmiComedy,” in Western North Carolina Woman Magazine. Over the years, the clamor has grown to a chorus of at least a dozen rabid fans demanding a compilation. Now readers, you can own your own copy of the holiday season’s hottest book. Sample an essay here!