It was a beautiful relationship. Always there when I needed it, scooping, wiping, scraping without ever a complaint, our orange spatula had been with us since the days before silicone utensils. It had traveled with us when we moved from New Jersey 22 years ago, a genuine Rubbermaid with a wooden handle. Then whatever magical glue that adhered the rubber to the wood vanished, and the spatula part kept slipping off the handle. We’d stick it back on, and it would gradually slide off. We tried different glues, but they all would eventually fail. My husband Ron devised a way to “thicken” the wooden stick by wrapping black electrical tape around it, then shoving the top onto it. Gradually, the black tape slid down the stick, giving the spatula a kind of Halloween streamer effect. It was time.
Feeling like traitors, we ordered new spatulas. Plural because the new, molded silicone models come in sets. The orange spatula sat accusingly on the counter. The new spatulas looked weird. Alien. In many sizes, including a skinny one that looked like a butter knife. I tried it. It was awesome. We discovered that spatulas have improved. But we still couldn’t let go. I tried the old orange tool once more. It fell apart in the bowl, as if to say, “set me free!”
Ron has a pair of his father’s shoes, still in their box, in his closet. I have a wig and costume from my performing days on top of a shelf that I can’t seem to let go of. I find myself thinking these objects we don’t release are like the habits I’m attached to. Especially the ones that no longer serve me: clenching my jaw (when did that EVER serve me???), working too hard to prove myself, needing to be right. The habits can be physical, mental, or emotional. I can be fully aware of my habit, and still not be able to let it go. My personality spatula can’t simply be tossed in the trash, or replaced with shiny new habits.
But I do have tools. Learning to pay attention to how I move through life, using that attention to make different choices, I keep enlarging options for my life. Linking the wonderful learning of Awareness Through Movement® with my endless research into science and spirit keeps opening new avenues for discovery. After all, if I can find new ways to scrape my bowl, anything is possible!