Blog
I am endlessly fascinated and amused by the mysteries of the cosmos and my tiny place in it. Enjoy my explorations of my inner and outer worlds.
An Intelligent Designer’s Journal of Sartorial Splendor
Years ago, I went to Hayden Planetarium for their sky show, which was a trip through the universe, and a lesson on scale. For the finale, the camera began to pull back from our conveniently located position at the center of the universe, to its furthest edges, and...
Playing God
California Style Magazine stares up at me from the coffee table in my hotel room. It features a parade of impossibly tall, thin women with sculpted faces and futuristic Barbie hairdos. Like the almost human androids in the movie Blade Runner, these women seem...
Run Away, Run Away!
I ran away for the first time in Kindergarten. Standing in line after school with all the other kids waiting for the stupid bus, I had the existential realization that life is too short to wait for a bus and decided I needed to explore the world. When the nun turned...
The Workaholic Universe
I am having lunch with an old friend. Just as he is bemoaning all the goings on of his collapsing marriage, the phone rings. His cell phone that is. "Excuse me," he purses his lips in that embarrassed “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I left my cellphone on” smile. ...
The Treadmill of Existence
I’m told that a treadmill affords people the possibility of movement and exercise that would not be available because of weather or other circumstances. Yet every time I see someone walking or running, getting nowhere, I experience a poignant tug, somewhere between...
Brain Food
Of course I love my husband Ron. And I know he loves me. But for thirty eight years, we’ve danced around the kitchen trying to reconcile our different relationships to food. As is always the case, it’s more than just about eating. I imagine Freud and Jung sitting in...
Discussion Area
Lavinia Plonka weaves together 33 autobiographical stories with weighty philosophical questions in her uniquely hilarious way: Are aliens stealing our time? Can one find enlightenment at Sam’s Club? Are nail salons a galactic conspiracy?
These essays originally appeared as Lavinia’s monthly column, “CosmiComedy,” in Western North Carolina Woman Magazine.
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