I have worked my entire life on softening. Whether it’s my DNA, my upbringing, my astrological destiny, my Human Design, my karma, my Chinese designation as a Dragon, or the fact that I grew up in NJ, I’ve always been a “hardass.” I have been quick to judge, dismiss, snort in derision, roll my eyes. I can be impatient and forceful. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel compassion, empathy, or open heartedness. It just first needs to penetrate the carapace of my conditioning. For many years, the Tarot card that came up most often as my “significator” was the Queen of Swords – a woman who wields words like a weapon, who slashes with sarcasm, who will not suffer fools. Oh yes, there’s good there – a sharp eye for editing, an ability to instantly assess a situation, and an impeccable bullshit detector.
I’ve worked on it. I take a deep breath and pause before cracking an inappropriate comment. I soften the tone of my voice. I sense my feet, compose my face into a soft smile, or maybe even do a little bell hand to slow down the speed of my reaction, to allow some space in order to respond instead of react. But sometimes my answer comes too fast, my voice is too sharp, my words erupting faster than the emotionally intelligent part of my brain. I am eternally grateful for friends and students who have had the courage to call me on my sharp tongue!
Students sometimes ask me why I emphasize the connection between sensation, movement and emotions. After all, isn’t it enough to move better, feel less pain, be more flexible? The word “emotion” comes from the Latin to “move out.” Emotion is movement. It was Awareness Through Movement® that helped me understand the physical habits related to my emotional life and how they interfered with my ability to live an emotionally fluent life. Without this deep study of my physical/emotional relationship, I can’t imagine what my life would be like now.
I created Kinēsa® in order to expand the ways movement can enhance quality of life by integrating the brilliance of the teachings of Moshe Feldenkrais with my lifetime of study of emotions, ancient wisdom and neuroscience. Feldenkrais called this work “inner alchemy.” And isn’t the transmutation of emotions also an alchemical process?
Thanks to all who are willing to take this journey with me!