“As you reach with your right arm could one of your legs help lengthen your arm? Which one? The right? The left? Both? Neither? Do you begin your reach with your arm? Your shoulder? Your foot?”
Someone once left my class saying, “I can’t stand it. You offer too many choices. I just want someone to tell me what to do, and tell me when I’m doing it right.” Of course, one of the choices I always offer is that you don’t have to listen to me at all, just do what you want. But then again, that is also a choice.
When we limit our choices; whether for President, what to wear or how to move, we limit what’s possible. Feldenkrais said that it’s not a choice unless you have at least three options. Yes, No, Maybe. Right, Left, Center. Quit, Stay, Compromise. Barry Schwartz, in his TED talk on the Paradox of Choice, states that we are less happy now with all the choices we have in life (6.5 million possible stereo configurations in one store, 185 different salad dressings in the supermarket) because we keep thinking the next choice would be better. He actually presents the past, when it was expected that we all get married and have children, as the more desirable scenario vs. having the CHOICE to stay single, to declare I am gay, to not reproduce. He suggests that the very fact that we have a choice regarding such issues makes us unhappy. There was a time when many people’s only choice was a lifetime of slavery or serfdom. Perhaps that simpler time would be even more appealing to Mr. Schwartz.
There is a difference between real choice and the illusion of choice. What salad dressing I use, what’s on TV or even how I exercise will not necessarily empower or disempower me. How I react to a shocking event, how I move on after failing, how I increase my possibility for learning, these are the choices that count.
In some ways, it’s a lot easier to just do what’s expected, what I’m told, what we are “supposed” to do. No need to weigh options, to take a risk, to possibly fail. But by exercising choice, I also reap the rewards of knowing that I have done what’s right for me, not some idea of who I should be. The 80’s satirical rock group DEVO said it best: “Freedom of choice is what you’ve got, Freedom from choice is what you want.” Or is it? What do you want?