I am endlessly fascinated and amused by the mysteries of the cosmos and my tiny place in it. Enjoy my explorations of my inner and outer worlds. 

Food For Thought, Thought For Food

“If music be the food of love, play on.”   Shakespeare – Twelfth Night “Remember, as the dodo said Feed your head!  Feed your head!  Grace Slick I wake up in the morning and lie in bed, mentally surveying the contents of my refrigerator.  The meal possibilities of the...

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At Home in the Cosmos

The wheel is turning and you can't slow down You can't let go and you can't hold on You can't go back and you can't stand still If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will Jerry Garcia The other night, there was a power failure in the middle of the night. ...

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Going Nowhere

“The world thus appears as a complicated tissue of events, in which connections of different kinds alternate or overlap or combine and thereby determine the texture of the whole.” (Heisenberg, Physics and Philosophy, 1963) When you walk through the Northwest Airlines...

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Who Me? Biased?

Everyone's a little bit racist Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go Around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact We all should face Everyone makes judgements Based on race. -From the musical Avenue Q Short People...

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Conversations with Myselves

“Of all the things in life I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” Mark Twain “I don’t mind the voices in my head. I just wish they’d reach consensus.” Asheville Bumper Sticker I stand alone in the kitchen carrying on a lively conversation with myself.  “Hmmm, I think...

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Celebrating Sun Spots

It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.                                                                                                                       R.E.M. I...

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And Now, Back to Our Program

Last spring, I went on a three week trip to Europe.  Or at least I think I did. In the film Total Recall, based on a novel by Philip K. Dick, Arnold Schwarzenegger experiences a virtual vacation on Mars that turns into a nightmare when he discovers the chip up his...

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Going To Extremes

I’m into extreme sports.  I know, I don’t look it. Soft around the middle, gray roots peeking out of the bright red henna, vertically challenged.  Wikipedia defines extreme sports as “certain activities perceived as having a high level of inherent danger.” It also...

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Of Money and Mushrooms

The other day, I was hiking along Laurel Creek.  In the summer, I always bring a bag for wild discoveries: from porcinis to wine berries.  I had forgotten to bring one, so I grabbed my car trash bag.  I felt a little silly walking through the woods swinging my little...

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Lavinia Plonka weaves together 33 autobiographical stories with weighty philosophical questions in her uniquely hilarious way: Are aliens stealing our time? Can one find enlightenment at Sam’s Club? Are nail salons a galactic conspiracy?

These essays originally appeared as Lavinia’s monthly column, “CosmiComedy,” in Western North Carolina Woman Magazine.

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