I am endlessly fascinated and amused by the mysteries of the cosmos and my tiny place in it. Enjoy my explorations of my inner and outer worlds.
Food, Glorious Food
The other day I was talking to a friend about the latest trend in healthy eating. “None of it makes sense anymore,” she sighed. “My mother is 95, eats two eggs for breakfast every day and loves chocolate. How did she know they would end up on the good list?” Dan...
Take It To the Bank
I was going to write an erudite treatise on the imminent implosion of reality. But with the world in turmoil over money, reality suddenly seemed trivial. Our pundits, politicians and populace have overcomplicated and “overmediaed” a simple situation: we have an...
Baby Steps
The other day, a friend confessed he was struggling with a book he’s writing. “I have all the ideas, but I can’t seem to get it down on paper,” he complained. “What’s it about?” I was excited. This man is a funny, talented teacher. He’s had lots of great ideas in the...
Abracadabra
I recently met a woman who was enduring a job she hated in order to maintain her health insurance. “I don’t know what to do,” she sighed. “This job has killed my soul.” “Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “Don’t say that!” I wanted to tell her to quit her job. That life is...
What is Your Wish?
When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires Will come to you Jiminy Cricket Be careful what you wish for My Mother Ask the most rational, prosaic person you know, and odds are, even he or she at one point or another has looked...
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’….Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Gospel of...
Wherever You Go There You Are
I recently traveled to Vancouver with my sister Liz. As I was walking through Minneapolis St. Paul airport, I passed my old high school classmate, Mary. Except it wasn't really Mary. After all, this young woman was about 18 years old, and Mary, well, Mary had...
I Give and I Give and I Give
My husband Ron always complains about the English language. He was born in New Jersey, so maybe that complicated his relationship to language in general, since New Jersey’s favorite choices of adjectives in most conversations are not supposed to be part of polite...
The Precious Present
“We almost never think of the present, and when we do, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future.” Pascal When I lived in NJ, there was a new age gift store with a sign outside proclaiming, “Remember the precious present,” cleverly being...
Falling Up
I know better as I balance precariously on the log buried under the honeysuckle and rambling rose. But the really good blackberries will be just outside my reach if I remain on the lawn. I can balance, I’m a dancer. I’m a martial artist – sure footed and in touch with...
Lavinia Plonka weaves together 33 autobiographical stories with weighty philosophical questions in her uniquely hilarious way: Are aliens stealing our time? Can one find enlightenment at Sam’s Club? Are nail salons a galactic conspiracy?
These essays originally appeared as Lavinia’s monthly column, “CosmiComedy,” in Western North Carolina Woman Magazine.
Humor, Philosophy, Body Language, Learning and so much more.
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