I am endlessly fascinated and amused by the mysteries of the cosmos and my tiny place in it. Enjoy my explorations of my inner and outer worlds. 

Forget Something?

Scarecrow “They took my arm and they threw it over there!  And then they took my legs and threw them over there!” Tin Man “That’s you all over.” I have several vivid memories of forgetting.  The first one was about age eight.  My mother had discovered the Sears outlet...

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New Beginnings

January 1 is an arbitrary date, decided by a pope or an emperor somewhere in the mists of time. There are many cultures around the world that celebrate a different New Year. Yet they’ve all come to agree that for practical purposes, we all start anew on January 1.  In...

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Smarty Pants

As I stumble into the 21st century; cell phone charger wires dangling from my purse, a snake pit of wires coiled under my feet at my desk (last time I checked: Computer, phone, fax, speakers, cell phone charger, heater, printer, mouse base station and my Skype...

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Dark Eyes

Most people don’t remember a peculiar moment of temporary insanity in America’s culture.  We speak nostalgically of our hula hoops. We all remember where we were when we first heard The Beatles. But who waxes fondly on the accordion orchestras that flooded the nation...

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Aliens Stole My Time

Years ago, I came across a survey conducted by the Roper Organization. According to its survey, approximately 33,000,000 Americans showed signs of having been abducted by aliens.   A booming industry of abduction specialists ranging from psychotherapists to...

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Lavinia Plonka weaves together 33 autobiographical stories with weighty philosophical questions in her uniquely hilarious way: Are aliens stealing our time? Can one find enlightenment at Sam’s Club? Are nail salons a galactic conspiracy?

These essays originally appeared as Lavinia’s monthly column, “CosmiComedy,” in Western North Carolina Woman Magazine.

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